(Sloppy) Six-Pack Saturday: Great Divide Brewing Company’s Colette Farmhouse Ale

When I originally came up with the idea of Six-Pack Saturday, I imagined a review in which I pick a six-pack of beer and drink the entire thing, then review it. I never went through with it, as I figured the end result would be far too messy and unprofessional (not that professionalism is a concern around here). Well, it’s been over a year since Landlocked Living launched, and I feel it’s time I do a proper Six-Pack Saturday. For this special, Sloppy Six-Pack Saturday, I’m going to be quenching my thirst with Great Divide Brewing Company’s Colette, a “rustic farmhouse ale.” I’ll also be using a slightly different format with this one, covering the basics as usual but also describing the beer as I go through the entire six-pack. Buckle up, readers, it’s going to be a wild ride.

The Basics

Great Divide Brewing Co. Were formed in 1994, and have since become one of the most recognized and respected names in the industry. Built on a foundation of strong beers, most averaging 7% ABV and beyond, Great Divide prides themselves on having bold and flavorful beers that pack a punch. Will Colette, their farmhouse style ale, live up to their goal while providing a great taste?

She may look harmless, but be warned, she's not...
She may look harmless, but be warned, she’s not…

The Taste

Colette, an ale consisting of wheat, rice, and barley, is marketed as a “rustic farmhouse ale” with notes of citrus. The wheat flavor is very underplayed, while the citrus and bold barley flavor take center stage. Upon first sipping this beer, the lightness of the wheat is easily noticeable. This is followed by the slight zest of the citrus, and the dark aftertaste of a typical barley-centric beverage. Overall, it’s an intricate flavor that’s difficult to put into words but pleasant to put into one’s system.

Drinkability

As previously mentioned, the wheat isn’t necessarily noticeable in the flavor, but it is noticeable in the smoothness. This is one easy drinking beer. As you’ll see in the beer-by-beer countdown, it’s almost too easy to drink. Great Divide Brewing Co., I don’t know what kind of sorcery is at play here, but I approve.

Overall

Despite my hatred towards most things wheat beer, I absolutely love this brew. It’s flavorful. It’s easy going. It’s stronger than most mass-produced garbage. It’s damn good. It’s hard for me to admit to liking a wheat-based beer so much, but dammit, I love this beer. It’s quite possibly one of the most interesting and unique beers I’ve tasted in my life. The wheat gives it a light bite and drinkability, while the barley and dark magic give it a spicy and fun flavor that I won’t soon forget. This is an all around great beer. I don’t care what you normally drink, try this. You won’t regret it. Now for my beer-by-beer review, which you may regret reading. Sorry, Mom and Dad.

ColetteMug

Below you will find a blow-by-blow countdown of the six-pack, as I drank it one beer at a time. The opinions reflected are that of me, and me alone. Any offended parties can contact the support department at… wait, what’s that? I don’t have a support department? Right. I’m just a man. Forgive me.
Beer #1: Easy Rider

When I picked this beer up, I wasn’t aware it was largely composed of wheat. Those who know me, know I generally dislike almost all wheat beers. Fortunately, this is not the case here. This beer is incredible. It has the lightness of a wheat beer, subtle notes of fruit and citrus, and it’s smooth. I can’t stress just how smooth this beer is. It drinks like a citrus spritzer. This is especially impressive when you consider the fact that it’s rocking a 7.3% ABV.

Beer #2: A Rush of Blood Straight to the Head (That’s a Coldplay album, FYI)((Yes, I listen to Coldplay, bring on the jokes))

She’s still a smooth talker. Maybe too smooth. I generally find beers of this magnitude to be heavy and not particularly suited for quick drinking. Maintaining its trend of setting trends, Colette is naturally easy to drink. The light and refreshing citrus flavor is downright appealing and tasty, and the lack of bite makes this beer easy to consume. It’s plain inviting. Back to watching the Cooking Channel. Yeesh, the Cooking Channel and namedropping a Coldplay album in the same article? God help me when I write a few beers from now.

Beer #3: The Last Beer on Earth

Well, the six-pack is now a three-pack. It’s still tasty, still smooth, and still great. I will say it is a bit top heavy. No, I don’t mean there’s a thick head on the pour, it just goes straight to your noggin. Also, I’m drinking a glass of water between each beer in hopes of battling Colette’s persuasiveness and rage.

P.S. We’re starting The Last Man on Earth. Why didn’t anyone tell me this show was so deep and sad?

Beer #4: A Stroke of Atlas Genius

“I am Number Four” would be a bad title for that last bottle, as it’s an empty shell soon to be thrown into the trashcan. Granted, I can’t say the film series has a happier ending. No sequel? Really? It was fun, dammit.

In what I can only describe as a war of attrition, Colette is slowly but surely winning. Each beer tastes sweeter than the last, with the citrus turning into not-so-subtle notes of alcohol instead of citrus. It’s still lacking the bitterness I expect out of a 7.3% ABV heavyweight, but it’s certainly packing the punch. Can we go MySpace for a second and do this whole thing?

Listening to: “Trojans,” by Atlas Genius
Feeling: Colette’d

Beer #5: Beer for a Friend

As I sit here listening to old tracks from Funeral for a Friend, I’m overcome with nostalgia for the days of pop punk and emo. I may also be overcome by alcohol, but the jury is out on that one. Hopefully they’re out on a beer run, because we’re at number five on this six-pack! Oh, and if you’re wondering, it’s still a delicious and dangerous brew. Damn you, Colette.

Beer #6: It’s in my blood…

I've said a million times over, play this at my funeral.

 

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