Six-Pack Saturday: Failure to Launch Edition

If you’re reading this, then you’re well aware that it is in fact, no longer Saturday. Furthering your sense of disappointment: I didn’t review a beer. The combination of a sinus infection that refuses to die, the cold weather, and a sinus infection that refuses to die, made this Six-Pack Saturday, six-pack-less.

To make up for this shameful act (or lack of act), I will be doing two Six-Pack Saturdays in a row, beginning with next Saturday. Sinus infection or no sinus infection, beer will be consumed and reviews will be typed. Furthering my compensation to you all, here’s a list of five things that don’t go well with chocolate, because…lists.

  1. Alfredo sauce– It may transform the cheapest of pastas into a white and cheesy miracle dish, but believe me when I say it is terrible with chocolate. That being said, you can dip just about anything else in it.
  2. Alaskan Salmon– Salmon may be the holy grail of omega 3 fatty acids and quality protein, but it refuses to play with chocolate. Instead, pair this wonderful fish with a quality white wine and some asparagus.
  3. Beef Jerky– Jerky is a great addition to any road trip or junk food binge. One thing it’s not, is a great addition to a fondue party (cheese fondue is up for debate).
  4. Eggs– Eggs, nature’s little oval of protein. Fried, scrambled, sunny side up, or any other way, and they are wonderful. If you really want to ruin your egg experience, throw some chocolate into that omelet.
  5. Aerobics– There are many times one should eat chocolate: after dinner, while typing, while rapidly approaching a diabetic episode, or during a session of World of Warcraft. The list of inappropriate times to eat chocolate is most certainly much shorter, and most certainly includes an entry for aerobics. Richard Simmons doesn’t need any help turning your stomach, don’t add chocolate into the equation.

Now that I’ve lost the little credibility I had for the sake of sneaky SEO tactics and humor, I shall go slip into a Mucinex-induced coma. Stay tuned for the next entry in the Man vs. Winter saga, and tune in next Saturday for a real Six-Pack Saturday!

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